Sermon on The Mount: ‘On Adultery & Oaths’ (Matthew 5:27-37)

[00:00:00] World Cup coming in th- three days, I think, isn’t it? Woo. So get excited for that. Yeah. It’s come a- it’s come around quickly. Um, so we could be praying for peace throughout that whole thing. Be really lovely. Um, after the striking introduction of, to the Sermon on the Mount called the Beatitudes, and after that wonderful statement of Jesus about being the salt of the earth and the light of the world, we now enter the Sermon on the Mount proper, so the real meat of the Sermon on the Mount.

[00:00:39] Here’s an outline of the Sermon on the Mount In verses 17 to 20, as we just read, Jesus says He’s come to fulfill the law and the prophets. That’s the whole Old Testament. And then from verse 21, He has a set of six. You’ve heard that it was said in the Old Testament [00:01:00] law, and I say to you, and so then He gives us an interpretation of that Old Testament law.

[00:01:07] What’s the true intention of that law? What was the law– What were the law and the prophets really pointing to? Jesus will tell us how we’re to live. And He deals with anger, lust, divorce, oaths, retaliation, and loving our enemies. The first is on anger. We’re skipping that because we lost a week where we were locked out.

[00:01:33] So I hope we can do that one again. But Dan touched on it when he did Do Not Murder from the Ten Commandments. Uh, so we’re going straight to the next three. I’ve done three talks, one each on these things before, but we didn’t want to be too slow going through the Sermon on the Mount, so we’re doing three here today: lust, divorce, and oaths [00:02:00] Matthew chapter 5, verses 31 to th- uh, 32 talks about divorce, and it’s not ideal to deal with a subject like this in a sermon because there is a lot of emotion attached to the subject.

[00:02:17] People’s lives, people’s families, people’s souls are attached to this subject, and there’s a lot of very difficult things to wade through and talk about, and lots of different interpretations that people have and thoughts that people have. And I feel like if you’re struggling or if people are struggling with this stuff, it’s great to talk privately to a pastor or an elder or a friend, uh, a leader.

[00:02:47] Um, but we are gonna look at divorce today as one of these three things and see what Jesus says here. It’s not the only place in the New Testament where divorce comes up. Also Mark [00:03:00] 10, Luke 16, 1 Corinthians 7, as well as this passage here in chapter 5 of Matthew and chapter 19 of Matthew. And together they show both that Jesus is generally against divorce in line with the Old Testament teaching, for example, Malachi 2 and Genesis 2.

[00:03:21] Yet he also believes there are legitimate grounds for divorce in line with Deuteronomy 24 and Exodus 21. But before we look at that, it’s important to notice that Jesus talks about divorce between these two other issues, lust and truth-telling, which both in some ways are more basic. It may be stating the obvious, but if people knew how to control their bodily lusts on the one hand, uh, that’s verses 27 to 30, and they were committed to complete integrity and [00:04:00] truth-telling on the other hand, that’s verses 33 to 37, then there would be fewer, if any, divorces.

[00:04:08] Divorce normally happens when lust and lies are allowed to grow up like weeds that sort of choke out the fragile thing that ma- marriage is, the beautiful plant of marriage. So first, Jesus deals with lust. He says, “Deal ruthlessly with the first signs of lust.” Plucking out our eyes and cutting off our hands are deliberate exaggerations, you’ll be glad to know.

[00:04:39] Uh, but they do make the point very, very forcefully, and that’s Jesus’ intention. Jesus doesn’t mean we must never feel the impulse of desire when we look at somebody attractive. That would be impossible, and that isn’t what the words mean. What He commands us to avoid is the [00:05:00] gaze and the lustful imagination that follow from that initial impulse.

[00:05:07] In other words, avoid adultery in the heart. Sexual desire is good. Um, it’s a God-given wonderful thing. But it’s like the fire of Gehenna, it needs firmly keeping in place. Saying no to desire when it strikes us inappropriately, um, in other words, outside the context of marriage, is a very basic Christian discipline.

[00:05:35] And it’s not repression, as many people believe it is. It’s more like, and I love this illustration, it’s more like pruning the rose. Um, cutting off some healthy buds so that the plant can actually grow stronger and more beautiful, and produce better flowers. Uh, I love that illustration. So choosing not to be [00:06:00] swept along by inappropriate sexual passion may well feel like cutting off a hand and plucking out an eye, but it’s a very serious issue, and we need to act decisively.

[00:06:14] And yes, there is the judgment of God on those who are, who go down that path. So He, He doesn’t… You know, He says very strong things here. Yeah Likewise, verses thirty-three to thirty-seven on truth-telling, He’s saying, “Determine resolutely to tell the truth to yourself and to your spouse,” in the case of if you’re married.

[00:06:44] Jesus seems to be commenting here on the second commandment, uh, not to take the Lord’s name in vain. People regularly s- swore by heaven or by the throne of God. It’s better to think before you speak, to mean what you say, [00:07:00] and to realize that in speaking, less is often more. Extra words, um, swearing by this or that, call into question the speaker’s basic truthfulness.

[00:07:13] So if you need to add extra things, we might start thinking, “Well, perhaps you’re not a trustworthy person.” So nipping in the bud, uh, lust and telling the truth straightforwardly, meaning what you say, these two things between them will see off most challenges that a marriage will face, and that’s all I have time for on those issues.

[00:07:41] But what about divorce? In verses thirty-one to thirty-two, Jesus says, “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her a [00:08:00] victim of adultery,” or you could translate that, forces her to commit adultery, “and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

[00:08:12] Here, Jesus is referring back to Deuteronomy twenty-four, which is part of the law of Moses. Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. In Jesus’ day, the Pharisees were divided into two camps. They differed on the interpretation of this passage in Deuteronomy twenty-four, specifically the Hebrew phrase, something indecent, because Moses said, “If a husband found something indecent in his wife and he wants to divorce her, he must write her a certificate of divorce.”

[00:08:48] And they differed. On one side of the debate, Rabbi Shammai and the School of Shammai basically said something indecent means adultery or some serious [00:09:00] sexual offense. That is, she was unfaithful to him. And that would be then the one and only true valid reason for divorce according to Shammai. Then on the other side of the debate was the school of Hillel, and he basically said something indecent means anything that you don’t like about your spouse, and it’s talking about men here.

[00:09:26] So anything you don’t like about your wife. So if you fall out of love with her, um, no worries, something indecent, divorce her. If you’re not happy anymore, you’ve fallen in love with somebody else, okay, that’s, that’s no problem, divorce her because that’s something indecent. Um, and he famously said, “If she burns the food, something indecent.”

[00:09:53] So unfortunately, Shammai’s view, the first view that I’ve talked about, was the [00:10:00] minority view, and Hillel’s view was the majority view in Jesus’ day. So divorce was rampant. Uh, divorce was quick and easy. Uh, the man could say three times, “I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you,” write her a certificate of divorce, then send her away.

[00:10:20] And that’s all that was required. And Jesus comes along and says, “You guys, you’ve got it so wrong. You’re missing God’s heart. That’s not the way of God. You have totally strayed from my Father’s will.” Now, remember these verses we just read on divorce immediately follow what Jesus has just said on lust and adultery.

[00:10:44] He’s tying the two together. He’s basically saying that divorce, except in the case of infidelity, is tantamount to adultery. He says, “If you wrongfully divorce your [00:11:00] spouse and go marry another one, you’re committing adultery.” And it’s hard to know how to translate verse thirty-two. Literally, the Greek s- Greek says, “If you divorce your wife,” that is wrongfully divorce your wife, “you adulterate her.”

[00:11:17] As I said, the… some translations have, “You force her to commit adultery.” That’s what the ESV translation has, and many of you have that translation. You force her to commit adultery. I assume that’s because she’ll be destitute if she doesn’t remarry. So Jesus is saying that wrongful divorce is adultery or causes adultery.

[00:11:43] So here and elsewhere, Jesus sets his face firmly against wrongful divorce. He tells us where He lands on the issue. It’s– He’s with Shammai. He doesn’t give His blessing to quick and easy divorce, the kind the Pharisees were doing [00:12:00] and teaching. He takes divorce so seriously that with only one exception here, at least, He calls divorce adultery.

[00:12:09] And in Matthew 19, Jesus addresses divorce in greater detail than He does here. Matthew 19, the Pharisees say, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” And again, they’re quoting Hillel, Rabbi Hillel, who said that something in-indecent could involve any and everything. So is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?

[00:12:35] And Jesus answers the question by going back to Genesis chapter two, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother, be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” And Jesus adds, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate.” He says, “My Father’s original intention was oneness together, one flesh, and [00:13:00] that’s not to be separated.

[00:13:02] That covenant is not to be broken.” And Jesus seems to have Malachi two, 14 to 16 in mind, as well as Genesis two. “The Lord is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the one God made you? You belong to Him in body and spirit.

[00:13:30] And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.” And we know, of course, that divorce is so traumatic for children. “So be on your guard and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the Lord Almighty.

[00:13:54] “So be on your guard and do not be unfaithful.” That phrase, the wife of [00:14:00] your youth, really softens my heart towards Glenda, my wife, every time I hear it, uh, and I think that’s the intention. Verse 16 has been mistranslated in the past. The old King James Version had, “God hates divorce,” and people often quote that, but Malachi doesn’t actually say that.

[00:14:20] He says, “The man who hates and divorces his wife does violence to the one he should protect.” God doesn’t hate divorce if there are right grounds for divorce. And in Jeremiah three, verse eight, God says He divorced Israel for her unfaithfulness, so God Himself is a divorcee. But divorcing your spouse for any and every reason is not legitimate grounds.

[00:14:48] Jesus is all about the beauty and sanctity of marriage. He only permits divorce in certain cases. And even when there’s been adultery or something like that, [00:15:00] God’s heart is always reconciliation if at all possible, and many marriages have survived infidelity. But sometimes marriages don’t survive. Some Christians fight tooth and nail for years, and in the end, there’s no way to make it work.

[00:15:18] So here’s a few thoughts on divorce and remarriage. In Soma, we don’t have an official policy on this, but here are some thoughts. Two thoughts from Matthew five and Matthew nineteen in the scriptures generally, and we really need to take all of the scriptures in mind. Number one, divorce is an amputation.

[00:15:36] Jesus says they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate or let no one put asunder. That word asunder tells us something. Like Jesus– like Jesus, we live in a time when divorce is considered normal and natural, and many believe that divorce should be as easy as, as possible.

[00:15:58] But what Jesus says [00:16:00] here, that marriage is God fusing two people together, body and soul, into one entity, that means that divorce is not like, like taking off your clothes. Divorce is more like cutting off your arm or cutting off your leg. And yes, divorce can happen. It does happen. Divorce can be survived.

[00:16:22] There can be life after divor– uh, divorce and great blessing. But it is as radical as removing an arm or leg. And he says, “What God has joined together,” all this emphasis on God made them one, let no man put asunder. This means that it when, when it is put asunder, it’s like an amputation. Jesus says, yeah, it can be done.

[00:16:45] It does happen. It can be survived, but it’s not something to enter into lightly at all. And any doctor would be run out of their practice if he was constantly and quickly saying, “Let’s [00:17:00] amputate.” No, it’s the last thing you do. It’s the most dr- dr- uh, drastic thing to do, and it’s an absolutely life-threatening thing to do.

[00:17:11] It’s not something you enter lightly. Any society that recommends divorce lightly should be run out of town like a doctor would be who lightly recommends amputation. And this is what Jesus is saying. But then number two, divorce is sometimes necessary for life. Taking this analogy of amputation further, it’s true divorce is an amputation, um, but the fact is that sometimes you do need to amputate to preserve that person’s life.

[00:17:50] And the Pharisees come back and say, “Why did Moses grant a bill of divorce?” And Jesus says immediately, verse eight, and this is chapter 19, [00:18:00] “It’s because of your hardness of hearts.” So even though God meant marriage to be permanent, and the permanence of marriage is actually what helps us grow, and it’s what helps us relax with each other and open up and be vulnerable and find out who we really are because it’s secure.

[00:18:20] Despite that, and despite that marriage is meant to be permanent, Jesus says, “Yet because of sin, because sin has entered the world, there are conditions where divorce is the only way to survive.” And Jesus says one of the grounds is sexual immorality. For example, if your spouse has committed adultery against you, you can be divorced, and you’re free to remarry.

[00:18:47] But sexual immorality is broader than adultery here. The Greek word Jesus uses is porneia, sexual sin, and it’s… So it’s, um, a broader concept than [00:19:00] adultery that could involve a whole range of things Which we could explore. There’s another place in 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul gives another biblical grounds for divorce, and that’s what he calls desertion.

[00:19:17] And if your non-Christian spouse deserts you and won’t return, then you’re free to remarry, says Paul. Tim Keller, um, author Tim Keller points out that in the Old Testament, if you break your marriage covenant through adultery or desertion, willful desertion, you were stoned, you were killed, or at least potentially that was on the cards.

[00:19:45] And in the New Testament, that’s not the way it is, and yet the New Testament recognizes that there’s a sense in which the partner has died, and you know where it says, “Till death do us part,” well, the New Testament [00:20:00] recognizes that under these two conditions, there is a death of sorts, and therefore you’re free to divorce and remarry.

[00:20:09] And in the Old Testament, there’s also the grounds of abuse. In Exodus twenty-one, ten to eleven, it says a woman is free from her husband if he doesn’t provide material support, food, or sex. This is a form of abuse, neglect, no love, no intimacy, no provision. And when Moses says here a woman is free from her husband Uh, free must mean free to remarry Otherwise it doesn’t make sense.

[00:20:47] The same in Deuteronomy 24, the reason Moses told them to write a certificate of divorce was to give her the right to remarry. The legal right, that’s what the certificate of [00:21:00] divorce gave her

[00:21:03] Because in ancient societies, an unmarried woman would most likely be destitute and not have the safety and security that she needs. So begin to divorce your wife, at least give her a certificate of divorce. The thought is so that she can remarry. It seems to me divorce is only divorce if it allows for remarriage.

[00:21:29] To put it another way around, if you’re not allowed to remarry, then divorce hasn’t really happened. And if a woman is not free to remarry, then sh– y- then we’re just continuing the abuse, are we not? We’re continuing to abuse her because she is left absolutely destitute Now, abuse can take many forms. So we have to talk this through.

[00:21:55] Uh, a bully, neglectful, harmful, degrading, [00:22:00] domestic violence, constant threats of violence or constant verbal abuse, controlling and manipulative behavior, gambling all the family’s money away again and again, destructive addictions that are tearing the family apart, alcoholism and drug use that is systematically harming their spouse and family, grave and chronic lying and deception.

[00:22:24] This breaks the core content and spirit of a marriage covenant. So divorce is sometimes necessary. In the case of adultery, sexual immorality, des-desertion, abuse, and the like. These things are covenant betrayals. They break the covenant, es-especially if there is no genuine repentance. None of these grounds oblige a spouse to divorce, but all of them are forms of covenant betrayal and therefore valid grounds for divorce, it [00:23:00] seems to me.

[00:23:01] Divorce is permitted for these things, not commanded, uh, permitted. But divorce is not permitted for normal marriage structure, uh, struggles, conflicts, and issues. And when we’re trying to help someone think this through, it’s so important to understand this distinction between normal marriage issues and the more serious covenant-breaking issues of abuse and so on.

[00:23:31] I read recently a quote from a Christian counselor, Carolyn Nuttall from Perth, who was over here for Soma School, put me onto this. Um, she’s been through a divorce herself and has a, a lot of compassion for people struggling with this. Anyhow, this guy, Christian counselor, said, “I have a solid stream of wives whose Christian,” inverted commas, “husbands have bashed [00:24:00] them, cheated on them, bullied and threatened them, and set various evil addictions above their wives and their children.

[00:24:10] Almost invariably, the women,” these women who come to him, “have friends, family, pastors, and elders advising them to be forgiving Christians, to return to their husbands, to show grace, to take a look at themselves, too, to be more loving, more grateful,” and so on and so on. Astonishingly, for most of their counselors, the marriage and the vows must be preserved at nearly all costs by having the victims pay the costs.

[00:24:49] The husbands then perform a tearful confession, the woman returns, and the violence continues and expands with uncanny regularity. The [00:25:00] decades-old vampire in the deepest heart of the man remains thoroughly undercover, in control, and well-fed. The idea of marriage is upheld, but a woefully naive view of the rapacious wickedness of the human heart, um, is, is, is being adopted.

[00:25:22] The church sides with the abuser and says, “Peace, peace,” in the name of a high view of marriage, but this is a low view of sin. Uh, it’s important to understand in these more serious, uh, covenant-breaking issues like abuse, abandonment, infidelity, and so on, getting the couple together to work it out is not always appropriate.

[00:25:46] There needs to be some other forms of intervention, and we need to recognize that there are grounds for separation and divorce. And sometimes a woman or a man, and men can be victims of abuse, [00:26:00] too, and I have a real heart for men as well in these relationships where there’s abuse. Sometimes a woman or man might be free to divorce because their spouse has committed sexual immorality or serious abuse, yet they may choose to seek reconciliation and the restoration of their marriage, perhaps rooted in a deep grasp of the gospel, because God reconciled us to Him through Christ despite our sin.

[00:26:32] And it’s remarkable and wonderful that they’re prepared to do this, to seek restoration of the marriage, but this route is not and must never be a requirement or obligation from a church because it’s not required by scripture. Reconciliation can only go as deep as the perpetrator’s repentance. And reconciliation and forgiveness may or may not involve the restoration of the [00:27:00] marriage.

[00:27:01] I was talking to my son, Zach, about this. He’s an, an Anglican minister at Wentworth Falls, and he said, “Oh, actually, what you just said is pretty well the Anglican official view of divorce and remarriage.” I said, “Okay, I didn’t realize that.” So, uh, he ap-apparently gave a sermon recently and said all the same kinds of things, so that was interesting.

[00:27:27] Um, my only final comment would be to note what Luther and Calvin said. Luther and Calvin, uh, John, John Calvin and Martin Luther are the fathers of the Protestant Reformation of the sixteenth century, and their views on marriage have influenced, uh, modern Protestant churches and perspectives. They differed from the Catholic position, so they’ve, they’ve had a huge impact on how we think about this.

[00:27:57] So I thought I’d mention them. Uh, it’s [00:28:00] interesting to see how Luther and Calvin apply the principles of the scriptures to issues beyond what the scriptures explicitly cover. Here’s Luther and his very beloved wife, Katie. Uh, at Wittenberg, and that’s Wittenberg University, where he wrote his treaties on marriage.

[00:28:21] He taught that marriage was instituted by God, um, but if a spouse refuses to allow their partner to serve Christ, that is, they’re being persecuted for their faith, divorce is valid. Interesting. And if hatred and conflict mean a husband and wife cannot live together harmoniously, Luther believed divorce was a just recourse, though he preferred the couple seek reconciliation or remain celibate unless they’re une-able to do that and then should remarry.

[00:28:54] For Calvin, this is a young picture of Calvin. We always see older pictures of Calvin. Here’s what he looked [00:29:00] like when he was young, if you can see that. At Geneva, he was in charge of Geneva. He tried to make Geneva a, a Christian city with Christian laws, and so he thought about divorce and remarriage. A woman persecuted for her faith by her husband could legitimately divorce him, and divorce was valid on the basis of impotence, extreme religious incompatibility, and abandonment.

[00:29:25] And C-Calvin dissolved the marriage between a woman of more than seventy years old and a man of twenty-seven years old because it had been established as a means by which this powerful woman could exploit this young man In all these cases, the innocent party was free to remarry. So it’s worth just checking out, uh, Luther and Calvin, both lawyers who were applying the scriptures to real-life situations and trying to understand the principles of scripture in the– those [00:30:00] real-life situations.

[00:30:01] They both saw that beyond adultery, malicious desertion, malicious cruelty, and continual conflict and irre-reconcilable hatred were valid reasons for divorce. But here Jesus is saying that for normal marriage struggles and conflicts and issues, we’re to work those things out and, and not to divorce, and to be faithful to the wife of our youth.

[00:30:29] After all, God has shown such faithfulness to us. What if you have wrongfully divorced your spouse? You’ve walked away with no biblical grounds for divorce. Well, I just remind you that God loves redeeming the worst situations. He loves to bless all who come to Him in repentance and faith. Come to Him in repentance, and He [00:31:00] will surprise you with the blessing that He can now bring to your new life.

[00:31:08] Wrongful divorce is not the unforgivable sin, and repentance does wipe the s-slate clean, and God forgives all who come to Him in that way. And Jesus’ overarching point is that we are called to be the light of the world and the salt of the earth, and that’s just not about moral commands. That’s a whole new way to be a human being

[00:31:33] And Jesus Himself exemplified this way of being human and invites us to follow in these areas of sexual behavior, faithfulness in marriage, and truth-telling.